Sketch Samples

Selections from a few of our sketches.

 

NICE JEWISH DR.PHIL

Dr. Phil helps Esther apply to be Queen by first “turning down the Jewish.”

DR. PHIL, A BALD MAN WITH A KIPPAH, WALKS OUT.

DR PHIL

Have you ever wanted to change something about you? Or maybe you want to change something about a spouse or a loved one. I’m Nice Jewish Doctor Phil, and I -- can help you. Today, I’ll be helping a young woman who is honest enough with herself to know that there are some things she needs to change- please welcome to the show, Esther.

ESTHER WALKS ON TO THE STAGE. SHE TAKES A SEAT ACROSS FROM DR. PHIL.

DR PHIL

Tell us why you’re here, Esther.

ESTHER

(thick Long Island accent)
Well you see, Nice Jewish Dr. Phil, I’m supposed to meet King Achashverosh...

DR PHIL

Whoa that's a mouthful. My momma always said, “If a name is that long, don’t stand in the kitchen!”

DR. PHIL LAUGHS LOUDLY TO HIMSELF. ESTHER STARES, PUZZLED.

ESTHER

So, anyway, I’m supposed to meet the king, but my Uncle Mordechai told me not to let the guy know that I’m Jewish.

DR PHIL

And why is that?

ESTHER

Well, the King will not marry a Jew - something about his right-hand man hating them and plotting their destruction. Anyway, long Megillah short--the King cannot know that I am one of the Chosen People.

DR PHIL

Yes, a comment from the audience...

AN AUDIENCE MEMBER STANDS UP. SHE IS AN OLD JEWISH WOMAN WITH BABUSHKA ON HER HEAD- YET SHE TALKS LIKE A SASSY BLACK “JERRY SPRINGER” WOMAN.

AUDIENCE MEMBER

I say you tell that king to shove it right where the sun don’t shine.

AUDIENCE APPLAUSE

ESTHER

But you see--

AUDIENCE MEMBER

(holds up a hand) Kvetch to the hand, ‘cause The Bubby ain’t listening.

...